Penguin Random House The Ladybird Book of the Sickie

'Lawrence and Ben are enjoying a bout of imaginary food poisoning.
Food poisoning is always good because it's over quickly and nobody likes to hear stories about toilets.'
__________

'When Jesse gets home from a very big party, he phones his manager and leaves a message. Now he does not have to get up early to call in sick.
'Calling the office at 3:07am is exactly what someone with a real cold would do,' Jesse thinks to himself as he falls asleep on his stairs with a kebab for a pillow.'

This delightful book is the latest in a series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.